Bellamione one shots
by darkwolflovesgirls
Summary: Bellamione one shots, femslash, smut most likely in some chapters, comedy being the center of most of these stories. This was done as a request, which I humbly hope the reader enjoys
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Things**

 **A/N:So one of my other stories had a reviewer request that I write a bellamione fic. I have since been wracking my brain on a story that might do one of my favorite pairings justice.**

 **Inspiration came from Instagram where the amazing: Grangerblackfamily has a series of bellamione incorrect quotes. Some of my stories have hit the point where they are turning more** **serious and heartbreaking in some sense, and so I thought I could play with this idea. I do not own these ideas from Instagram, that lies completely with whomever's handle that is, which I think is brilliant by the way. Again imitation is the highest form of flattery and I truly enjoy their work. At the end of each chapter I will post what the original insta post was**.

 **That's not to say I won't do some chapters without those prompts and interject my own story ideas, just realize some of these amazing ideas came from an author in which I very much enjoy their posts.**

 **Oh yeah also on this story I will definitely be taking prompts, so feel free to send them either PM or in the reviews!**

 **Hope you guys enjoy!**

* * *

Andy and Molly sat in the kitchen at the Burrow, surrounded by their children and the remaining members of The Order. The war had been over for almost 3 years at this point and most everyone had remained close.

Most intriguing about the aftermath of the war was the almost immediate disappearance of one third of the Golden Trio as they had been dubbed in The Prophet. She had taken several odd jobs that always required traveling and immersed herself in her work. Throughout her travels she had taken to writing several books and had became quite the authority on many varied subjects. Not surprisingly her information had been compiled in such a manner that drew the reader in and gave such thorough information that they became the standard to which Hogwarts text books were to be written.

Most curious was also the fact that she had not returned to Hogwarts for her last year of education, but decided to finish through correspondence with the professors there and taking the necessary exams administered at the Ministry. Everyone had assumed the bookworm would want to return to her last year at the wizarding school she so loved to return to a sense of normalcy and obtain a sense of completion.

Apparently that was a wrong assumption.

By all accounts the bookworm had been seen across the globe living her life to the fullest any had post war. Pictures in the Daily Prophet were always taken from a distance of her doing things like sky diving, snorkeling, skiing, even excavating ancient Egyptian ruins.

The only person whom had seen her at all in the last years with any consistency was one Fleur Delacour. They had met again while Fleur had began working as a curse breaker in Egypt. The young Veela had been tight lipped about any details regarding the young muggleborn, only that she seemed to be happier than anyone the Veela had seen post war.

What was even more mysterious was the shadowy figure that always appeared next to Hermione on her adventure photos. She had even credited the mystery person in every book or article she wrote, simply stating:

To my twisted rock, always

The 'a' in always was always written as the symbol for the deathly hallows.

The Prophet constantly had several speculation pieces printed about who the young Gryffindor's new beau could be. However, no one could ever seem to quite figure it out.

Today was special, as Hermione's best mate from school Ginny was having a baby shower for her first born. She and Luna had married in the most unusual ceremony privately much to Molly's chagrin. Hermione promised to attend, as she was to be named to child's godmother along with Andromeda Black.

The festivities had begun over two hours ago and while the ridiculous baby themed games had finally finished, the group had congregated in the kitchen for tea service before the presents would be opened.

'Is she really coming?' Ron asked his sister, extremely anxious, wanting to try and rekindle what he viewed as the shy woman always pining for him.

The red headed wizard had become something of a playboy since the end of the war in the worst way. He had shagged every witch that batted her eyes at the young man and had gotten a reputation as a womanizer. Living off of the money they had earned from a grateful nation throwing gallions at the Golden Trio, made up entirely of Death Eater wealth. Hermione, never once being comfortable with the gifts had split her money between prudent investments, her parents, Molly Weasley, and her mixture of charities. Harry since he already had loads of money from his parents split his bounty between the Weasley parents, Hagrid, Hogwarts rebuilding costs, and Andromeda and Teddy Tonks. Ron had almost completely spent everything down to the last Sickle and Knut.

Fleur rolled her eyes at the selfish boy-man.

'Oui, I'd say she is due...'

A flash of green flames interrupted the Veela, and none other than the reclusive Hermione Granger stepped through the Floo. She wiped at the soot now covering her traveling robes.

'Sorry I'm late, I was doing things.'

The conversation stopped immediately, grins all around until another flash of green and a dark hooded figure entered the cabin stating in a salaciously smug manner, lower timber of voice, however still decidedly feminine and shockingly familiar.

'I'm things'.

.

.

.

.

.

Jaws dropped as the hood lowered and revealed a now fully coherent and healthy looking Bellatrix Lestrange standing in the Weasley home striding towards the Golden Girl and wrapping her arms around her from behind, peppering her with soft kisses.

At first no one acted then it was as if an delayed explosion went off. Ginny spit out the pumpkin juice she was drinking. As her dreamy eyed wife spoke about nasty little mythical creatures known to be infesting the juice from time to time.

All at once voices questioned much in the manner of the muggle movie Rocky Horror Picture Show the late Nymphadora Tonks loved

'Mione?' Andy asked concerned

'Andromeda?' Hermione stated flatly

'Mione?' Ron asked getting mad

'Ron?' Hermione stated rolling her eyes

'Bella..' Andy raised an eyebrow filled with mirth

.

.

.

.

.

'…' Bella just looked to her sister challengingly.

.

.

.

.

.

'Mione?' Andy asked this time laughing

'Andromeda?' Hermione grinned

'Mione?' Ron asked getting more and more angry

'Ron?' Hermione stated rolling her eyes even more

'Bella..' Andy raised an eyebrow filled with mirth

.

.

.

.

.

'…'. Bella winked

.

.

.

.

.

'Mione?' Andy stated fill out laughing this time

'Andromeda?' Hermione chuckled

'Mione?' Ron full out yelled this time, face turning purple

'Ron?' Hermione rolling in laughter managed out

'Bella..' Andy said through giggles

'Look…' Andy began, but was interrupted by none other than the boy-who-lived

Harry had summoned a small muggle gong and slammed into it loudly, yelling out, 'Master! Dinner is prep-a-yad!'

.

.

.

.

.

Crickets chirping

.

.

.

.

.

'What? You've got to be joking? Has no one seen that movie? It's a cult classic, Tim Curry is fabulous in drag!'

* * *

 **Original** **post** :

Hermione: *entering*

'Sorry I'm late, I was doing things'

Bellatrix: *following grinning smugly, 'I'm things.'


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Dance Magic Dance**

 **A/N: Had this idea kicking around in my brain last night, hope you guys enjoy**!

* * *

They were in the woods, in the bloody woods, and he had left.

Their hot headed friend had left them in their sodding time of need!

She didn't ask for any of this, she didn't ask to be the girl-who-lived. She would have loved to have had loving parents, to grown up in a house surrounded with love, instead of a pre princess Cinderella type of existence for her aunt and uncle, until being sent to Hogwarts. Even then she would have loved a normal school year, just once without her life being on the line.

Her friends were few, but loyal. Huh, most anyway it would seem…her dumb friend had once again shown his true colors. Fleeing when it got too hard for him, leaving her and their unexpected Slytheryn Dark Arts Professor ally in the heavily warded tent.

The Horcrux took its toll on the wearer, how could it not? The thing was pure evil, forged from despicable atrocities. No one spoke of the particulars of their creation, choosing to ignore the act of cannibalism that was required to accompany the killing curse. How Tom had been able to do that not only once but seven times…the very thought made Hermione sick every time.

Wearing such a dark object surely had an affect on the young Gryffindor male. However this was one in a long string of events that led the young woman to resign to the fact that her friend was not as steadfast and loyal as she had once hoped. When she was younger she often had fantasies of growing old with the young redhead as his bride, a childish dream based more on social constructs than actual attraction. Their pairing would never work even if she had been born straight. He was moody, a meek mind, and unreliable at best. The fact that he even went with her was a shock, until she realized if they were successful he would be seen as a hero.

Twit

Yet he had stayed through getting split had stayed through living in the tent months at a time, with just her and Bella. They had scrounged for food, had run from snatchers, had found one more horcrux, and even tried repeatedly to destroy the cursed object until ultimately failing to do so. That is how they had gone to taking turns wearing it on their travels.

Ron had been wearing it at the beginning of the argument.

They had a huge row like they always did and then he had thrown it like the petulant child he was and disapparated in an instant.

Crying even though she knew he had always been this way, but finally accepted she and her Professor had moved along to the next hiding spot.

That night staring out into the inky darkness Hermione sighed heavily. It was no use keeping watch tonight, she just felt empty.

Bellatrix raised a sculpted eyebrow at the entrance of the brunette, but wordlessly began making a tea for her.

Hermione fell unceremoniously onto the camp chair next to the ever present radio as Bella handed her the tea with a slight smile.

They shared a momentary look in the depths of each other's eyes and then Bella moved away.

A few minutes later a slow, moving, yearning blues came across the wireless radio. Hermione was lost in thought until a pale hand came into her view. She raised her head questioningly, but accepted without speaking.

They moved together, swaying to the music innocently. Slowly picking up speed and without her realizing what was happening soon she was laughing. Bella had taken to dancing ridiculously, not caring in the slightest how she might look to others. It felt so good just to let go, to be so carefree. Somehow Bella knew just what she needed, she realized Bella always might have known…

The weight of the world had always been on her shoulder being the chosen one, and yet in times of need the dark witch had always been present.

Their laughing and movements slowed with the change in music. They both wrapped their arms around each other swaying to the steady beat. Hugging more than dancing Hermione closed her eyes and dug her nose into that soft skin where neck joined shoulder. Breathing deeply she took in the unique scent of her most faithful friend. Shuddering the taller dark witch let out a shaky breath.

Hermione leaned back looking into almost black eyes, searching…

Closing her eyes she slowly leaned forward and joined, what she finally admitted to herself was the object of her deepest desire in one sweet kiss.


	3. Chapter 3

The final battle had just finished, the castle crumbling and sobs of the mourning the only sounds. Most everyone just stood there in complete shock. Completely spent, hollow, almost numb feeling. Their losses were felt deep within their bones, the weight almost unbearable.

The dust had yet to settle before a bright explosion of color appeared in front of where Hermione Granger stood, she had been comforted by Ron just moments before, when he stepped back falling over fallen brick effectively knocking him out.

The blindingly bright color fizzled out to confusingly reveal none other than the recently deceased Dark Lord's faithful lieutenant in the flesh.

'Oh thank Merlin you are ok pet!'

Bellatrix threw her arms around a stunned Hermione and kissed her deep and passionately, pushing her deep into the side of the castle wall.

Hermione's mind went blank, and her body reacted to the attractive witch's attention and soft body pressing against hers. Getting lost in the sensation she returned the kiss with fervor. Moaning into the caress she tangled her hands in the mass of onyx curls. She didn't think anything could feel as blissful as this. The emptiness she had felt the entire time she was a student here, outcast, the loneliness she felt on the run…here this, in this moment she felt whole for the first time in her short life. Here, here with Bellatrix, here with…wait…WHAT!?

She broke the kiss reluctantly peering up into black eyes, shining with no malice, only love reflecting back at her.

Her hair an even bigger adorable mess than before, lips kiss swollen, generous chest heaving…wait…was that?

She let one hand drop down the her ever familiar time turner she wore in her third year. Looking back up questioningly she spoke the only thing that she could

'Bella?'

A deep thousand watt smile appeared on the dark witch's face as she cheekily answered.

'Yes Madame Black.' She leaned in kissing the young Gryffindor again.

Hermione held onto the witch in her arms, brain finally coming to life, leaning back.

'Wait? Black, you mean?'

'Yes pet, you are mine as much as I am yours. Although I imagine you and I are not together yet in your timeline.' The elder Slytheryn spoke sadly.

'You d-d-died! I saw it!'

Cupping the younger witch's jaw lovingly she spoke softly, 'oh but I didn't mud baby, do you think I could be beaten by a housewife..or that I could kill my niece?'

If Hermione hadn't been in the close embrace she would have stumbled.

'No, baby if you send some Auror's to my Cissy's house you will find my younger more maniacal self restrained in the dungeons…the one who battled the red headed housewife was Peter Pedigrew who knocked me out while I was sleeping and took some hairs from my head to polyjuice himself. You see he wanted to raise in favor with Tom…but that's not important, what is important is that you are her alive, now.' She leaned forward once more connecting their lips sweetly.

'I don't have much time, but I must tell you to stay away from the red heads. They will bring us both sorrow and your ultimate demise in a vengeful display of jealousy.'

Hermione began to protest, until a finger stopped the movement

'Shhh pet I must leave soon, but be weary, trust me, Harry, and my sisters. Here are letters you are to give to Cissy, Andy, and even to the present me, and one more thing…it's the biggest thing…

Promise me you will not return to the Burrow. It will save both our lives and our children's lives.' She looked imploringly at Hermione

'I can't…I don't…I need proof, I need..'

'You love the rain, but hate getting wet. You love that cranky cat to pieces, in fact it was harder for you to leave him than it was to leave this school, you have the biggest heart I have ever known, you love with everything you have, when you get hurt you still try to put others before yourself. You are the best person I know and I am humbled every day that you said yes to me.

I came back to make sure you live the life you should, full and without heartbreak those horribly judgy Weasleys inflict on you in the years to come. Trust my family, our family, trust this.' She leaned forward kissing Hermione once more

'Promise me pet.'

Hermione looked into those eyes that held such love and could do nothing but nod her head in agreement.

'Yes.'

With the affirmative given, Bella pulled away 'come pet we have to get you to Andy's first, you can't be here when he wakes up.'

'Umm ok.' She wrapped her arms around the Dark witch and felt the familiar feeling of apparition and landed in their embrace in front of the familiar cottage of Andy Tonks.

Bella kissed her once more before stepping back.

' I must leave now but if you are successful I will see you in the future luv.'

With a wisp of color she fluttered out of Hermione's vision

The cottage door opened and out stepped her friend Andy holding baby Teddy and asked

'Hermione?'


End file.
